


We Thought You Were Dead

by angryfanboyscreaming



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst, Connor and Jared are both assholes, Evan is confident, F/F, F/M, I'll add more tags as i go, Jared is a sad gay boi, M/M, but he still p anxious doe, he gots da bulimia, he has an eating disorder, if it does i'm sorry, jared is unstable af, maybe? idk, me poor boi, pwease fowgive me TwT, the eating disorder thing might trigger some o' y'all, trigger warning?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-22
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2019-11-27 18:50:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18197996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angryfanboyscreaming/pseuds/angryfanboyscreaming
Summary: Connor shows up st school a few months after the whole Connor Murphy Project shit happens. Jared is too emotionally unstable and can't handle it very well.





	1. Chapter 1

A choked gasp came from Jared's first period teacher.

 

"M-Mr. Murphy?!" Heads turned to the front of the class at the sound of Connor Murphy's last name, including Jared's.

 

Connor gave the teacher a curt nod and walked past, taking his normal seat in the back of the class and propping his feet up on the desk.

One of the other students spoke up, "Y-You're supposed to be dead..."

 

Connor shrugged, "Yeah, well, I faked my death to get away from people for a while. Then I saw what that fuckwad Evan Hansen did. So I decided to come back. So yeah hi, I'm alive."

 

Jared felt tears brimming in his eyes as he stared at Connor. He had liked the taller boy for a very long time, and was absolutely crush when he found out he had 'killed' himself. And here he is, walking into the classroom like nothing fucking happened.

 

He tore his eyes away from Connor and looked down at his desk, balling his fists and willing his tears not to spill.

 

Today was not going to be a good day for the Insanely Cool Jared Kleinman.


	2. Chapter 2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

     Connor watched as Jared Kleinman stood up out of his seat and blurted out a quick "Ihavetogotothebathroom" before sprinting out of the class.

 

     Connor rolled his eyes. He sure as hell knew that excuse. Jared was probably gonna go cry or get high. Most likely the first one.

 

     But why should Connor care? Why did it hurt him to see the tears already streaming down Jared's cheeks? Because his gayass has liked Kleinman for years but was always too much of a pussy to tell him.

 

     Connor sighed and stood up, following after Jared, ignoring the calls from his teacher asking him where he was going

 

—

     Jared ran into the bathroom, not being able to hold back his tears any longer.

 

     He slammed his fist against the nearest stall, sobbing and screaming out a "GOD FUCKING DAMMIT"

 

     Then, Jared felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned his head and saw Connor Murphy, looking at him with something similar to concern.

 

    That pissed Jared off. He swatted Connor's hand away, "Leave me alone you fucking piece of shit..." He grumbled.

_'Wait no stop why are you talking to him like that-'_

 

Jared pushed his  ~~gay~~ thoughts away and shoved past Connor, still crying.

 

    "I-If anyone fucking asks, I went home."

 

     With that, he left the school bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

 

—

 

     Connor stood there, stunned. Sure, Jared had always been kinda a dick, but he never acted like this. Something was up.

 

    He decided he would talk to Evan after school to try to find out.


	3. Chapter 3

     Finally, after a few more hellish hours, school ended. Connor didn't see Jared in the hall or in any of the classes they were supposed to have together, so he assumed he went home. Though, Connor's mind did occasionally drift of to darker thoughts: _Maybe Jared didn't go home. Maybe he did go home but he's hurting himself, or worse. He looked pretty depressed, to be honest. I hope this isn't my fault._

 

Connor shook his head as he walked up to the familiar mop of blonde hair that belonged to Evan Hansen. He tapped his shoulder, since his back was turned to Connor. "Hey, Hansen. I need to talk to you."

 

     Evan turned his head, looking at Connor over his shoulder.

 

"About what?"

"Jared."

 

     Evan's eyes widened slightly and he let out a small 'Oh'. He stuffed his books and binder in his arms and closed his locker, turning to Connor.

"Lets go to my house to talk about it, if that's alright with you Connor?"

 

     Connor shrugged, "Yeah, sure." He looked across the hall at Zoe, who was talking to Alana, yelling her name to get her attention. Zoe turned her head and looked at Connor, cocking her head a bit.

 

     Connor put his hand on Evan's shoulder, calling across the hall, "I'm going to Hansen's for a bit! Tell mom!" Zoe gave Connor a nod and a thumbs up before turning back to Alana.

 

     Connor looked down at Evan, "Shall we?"

 

     Evan gave Connor a curt nod, "We shall."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heckin i hate myself everything i write is short sorry ;w; i said i'd try to make these other chapters longer but i'm failing T^T


	4. What's Up with Jared?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ev and Con have a little chat while Jare is being a depressed, bulimic boi at his own house

     As Connor and Evan walked to Evan's house from school, it was total silence. No small talk, no nothing. Evan didn't ask where the fuck Connor went or why he faked his death. Connor didn't ask Evan what happened while he was gone. They both wordlessly decided that they'd save it for another time.

-

     Jared had sat in his room basically all day, only leaving to eat but then immediately throw it back up. Damn, he hated being bulimic sometimes. He was supposed to take his meds but.. He hated taking medicine. He always has. There was never a time he didn't hate medicine. Even cough drops made him want to fucking throw up. As usual. He always just hid the godawful pill under his tongue until his mom left his room, then spitting it out in the small waste basket and burying it under other trash. That's just the kind of guy he was.

-

     Once Connor and Evan got to Evan's house, Evan led Connor to his room. He closed the door behind the two of them and set his things on his desk before sitting down on his bed, looking over at Connor. 

"Well? Sit down."

     Connor nodded and sat down beside Evan, turning a bit to face him.

"So, what's up with Jared?"

     Evan sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"He's not fucking doing well after you 'died', obviously."

     Connor rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, no shit Sherlock. But what. The. Fuck. Is. Wrong. Was it me? Did I do something?"

     Evan scoffed and put his hand back in his lap, staring at Connor.

"Yeah, of course  _you_ did something! You fucking died, Connor! We all thought you were dead! Jared... he didn't take it well. Did you ever realize how he felt about you? No, you fucking didn't. Because you were always too busy fucking worrying about yourself and you never had time for other people." 

   Connor frowned, confused

"What the hell do you mean? And don't fucking yell at me, Hansen. Don't glare at me either. And when the fuck did you start swearing? Aren't you supposed to be the pure as fuck little nervous shy boy?"

   Evan rolled his eyes.

"Things have changed, Connor. I've changed, Jared's changed. Zoe's dating Alana now. Jared is super fucking gay. I'm having troubles figuring out my sexuality. Jared has an eating disorder. I swear now. Shit's happened since you've been gone, Connor."

   Connor blinked and his expression turned to one of worry.

"Jared.. has an eating disorder..?"

    Evan sighed and nodded

"Yeah.. He's bulimic."

    Connor blinked again, confused once more.

"And he's gay?

     Evan nodded again, humming out a small "mhm"

     Connor looked down then back at Evan.

"Tell me everything."

-

     Jared sighed and flopped down onto his bed. He had just thrown up. Again. He rolled onto his side and grabbed his phone of his nightstand, checking the time. School was out now.  _Maybe I should call Evan. See if he can hang out.._ He decided just to text Evan, since phone calls were awkward and he liked to avoid them as much as he could.

'hey acorn, whatcha up to' He texted Evan before sending it. He turned his phone off and rolled onto his back, staring up at his ceiling. Damn, he hated life.

-

      Evan looked down as he phone made a small ' _ping_ '. He checked the notification. It was Jared. He looked at Connor, who was staring at his floor, extremely confused and still trying to piece together what Evan told him. Evan picked his phone up and opened the text from Jared, rolling his eyes at the stupid nickname.

'I'm just sitting at home. Do you wanna come over or something?' He set his phone down just before getting another notification. A reply from Jared

 ** _'yea, sure ill cum (lol cum) hang out'_** Read Jared's reply. Evan rolled his eyes again at Jared's joke and texted him back.

'Alright. See you soon'

**_'see ya ev'_ **

     Evan looked back at Connor.

"Jared's coming over."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Jared sm. is that gay? yea, yea it is. thank u for cumming to my ted talk lol im so tired help me


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared comes over and they talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally updated whoop-

Connor stood up immediately, panicking.

"Nononononononononono no ! **_Fuck_** no , Evan! Jared can absolutely _not_ come  over!"

Evan raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms.

"And why is that?"

Connor flailed his arms dramatically.

"He's gay for me! I'm  **SUPER**   homo for him! It'll be a disaster! You'll be stuck in the same room with two fucking disaster gays! You _do_ _not_   want that! Trust me!"

Evan rolled his eyes.

"Who said I'd be staying in here? I'm hungry, so when Jared gets here, Imma go make me a sandwich."

Connor whined.

"Hansen,  ** NO ** ! You can  absolutely _not_   leave me alone in a room with Jared Fucking Kleinman! Bad things will happen! Well... maybe not  _ bad  _ things, but.. whatever!"

Evan shrugged.

"Well, that's what I'm going to do. So, when Jared arrives-"

Evan was cut off by the One and Only Insanely Cool Jared Kleinman sparta-kicking his bedroom door open.

"WASSUP BITCH- Oh shit fuck hey Connor.. I didn't know you were here.." Jared's shoes suddenly became  very  interesting.

Connor cleared his throat and mumbled out a small "Hi", looking down at Evan's carpet. Evan sighed and rolled his eyes, walking towards his bedroom door.

"I'm hungry, so I'm gonna go make me a sandwich, anyone else want anything?" Connor and Jared both shook their heads, still not looking at each other. Evan nodded and left the room, closing the door behind him and going down to his kitchen. 

Jared finally sat down on Evan's bed, looking up at Connor, who was still standing. He cleared his throat awkwardly but didn't say anything, looking away again as his cheeks tinted a soft pink. Connor sat down after a few minutes, him and Jared scooting as far away from each other as possible.

'Evan sure is taking his sweet fucking time..'  Connor though, gritting his teeth. Jared suddenly broke the silence.

"Hey. I'm sorry about.. the shit I said to you.. Calling you a freak and a school shooter and stuff.. I thought I was being funny, but I really wasn't..." Evan then walked back into the room, applauding.

"See, now  that's  what I wanted to hear! Now, Connor, you apologise to Jared." Connor sighed and turned to the shorter boy, "Jared..."

Evan made a 'go on' motion with his hand. Connor shot him a quick glare before looking back at Jared, "I'm sorry about the whole faking-my-death thing.. Evan told me how badly that effected you and I'm... really sorry.." 

Jared looked down at the bed, going silent. Connor chewed on his lip worriedly, glancing back over at Evan. 

Evan sat down next to Jared, "You... okay..?"


	6. Chapter 6

yall im gonna abandon this ive lost all inspiration for it and i have no ideas anymore. sorry. i might try to do something else, though. a different fic. when my brain finally stops fucking me over and when my parents get me refills on my meds. sorry

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this first chapter is short I'll try to make the others longer ;w;


End file.
